EPISODE FOUR: Confessionals

[Angie Swindell]

So Marvin got the boot. Not surprising. It was unanimous. Also not surprising. He put himself out there, and I think that can sometimes be a bad thing in a game like this.

The Head of Household competition was fun and I am happy with my submission. It's simple when you look at it, design wise, but I did put a lot of thought into it. I'm not sure if I even want to win Head of Household at this point, though. I think Britney will probably win the competition just because her banner was pretty well designed in the previous challenge and she obviously has some graphic design skills. She definitely has the upper hand.

During the beginning of each new round, I always think about who I would be comfortable with winning Head of Household and who I wouldn't be. The people that I'm not so sure about I make a special effort of talking to them BEFORE the challenge is over in the event that they do win HOH. This way, it's not like I'm kissing the ass of someone in power. At this point, the only people I wouldn't feel comfortable with are Natalie, April, and Justin. I say Natalie and April because I don't talk to them very much and we don't have interesting conversations. And uh, I wouldn't feel comfortable with Justin winning because I think he's sneaky and he put me on the block once before. I don't trust him at all.

[Angie Swindell]

Britney won the Head of Household competition like I expected. She has mad graphic skillz. I'm pretty okay with that, too! I don't believe I'll be nominated by Britney and that's really all I care about at this point. Anyone but me.

However, I would like to see April nominated because she's an idiot. She started an actual conversation with me today (what the fuck?) and it actually went somewhere (WHAT THE FUCK?). Memphis apparently told her that 4 people have said her name to him in regards to who they would nominate if they won HOH. I don't really understand why people would be opening up to Memphis and telling him all of their dirty secrets, but whatever. She was talking to me because she wanted to ask if I was after her. I told her I wasn't (what kind of moron would answer yes to that question?) and that was that. She then went on to say how it doesn't make any sense that she's a target because she isn't threatening and hasn't done anything to deserve a nomination. Please - cry more.

I was very friendly with April in the conversation and that will probably help me out in the future because she'll be more concerned with finding out who dropped her name as a possible target. I'm kind of curious to find out who those people are too, actually. I think Justin could have been one of them seeing as April was one of the 3 possible pawns when he was Head of Household.

Who knows.

As long as I am not nominated this week - I'm a happy camper!

[Angie Swindell]

Britney told me today that she was considering me putting me up as a pawn. Hmm...I'm getting flashbacks. Didn't this happen before? Oh yes, it did! Two fucking weeks ago. : )

I had a long conversation with Britney about why I shouldn't be put up as a pawn (I'm sorry but it's actually the most retarded reason) and hopefully I got through to her. I don't understand why people keep thinking I'm the perfect pawn. Going up as a pawn against Sharon was okay I guess because it was a done deal. Eric is not. He stayed on a unanimous vote last week and people have told me that they like him. I might not be so lucky this time if I'm up against him. So, basically, fuck that plan. I'm not being the pawn again.

I kind of started throwing April under the bus today. I really had no choice. I stated my own personal feelings to Justin when he was HoH and that didn't work (whatever), so I had to play dirty this time. The conversation was posted in my conversation page for this episode for your viewing pleasure.

On top of that, I sent Britney a final message over the board because I felt the need to get in that last punch before she makes her nominations. I'm leaving for work any minute and I won't get a chance to talk to her before the ceremony is posted. I'll post it here.

"I'm off to work and I probably won't get a chance to talk to you before you make your nominations - so I thought I would message you before you make your nominations final. I'll leave you with this.

You know where I stand with you, and you know how I feel about you. I'm not coming after you and having me in this game is having someone in your corner. I know you're not coming after me and I know if I was nominated it would be for pawn purposes, but I feel like I've let you know my feelings about the situation and I would really appreciate not being nominated as a pawn for the second time in this game.

If you want my opinion, you don't need a pawn. You said yourself that you don't want to get people angry and you don't want to have a target on your back after this week. Unfortunately, as Head of Household, that rarely happens. However, if you want to come out of this week with the least amount of negativity surrounding you, your best bet is to honestly put up both Eric and April. Four other people in this game have voiced that April would have been a potential target for them this week. That leaves me to question how many other people feel the same way about April but have kept it quiet like I have...? Either way, if people were being honest about their feelings, putting April up makes the most sense. You will piss off the least amount of people and if for some reason things happen to change and April goes home - it isn't a huge loss.

I will fight for the POV to keep the nominations the same and I will vote however you want the vote to go this week. As I told you earlier, you know where I stand in this game with you and, in my opinion, having me go up as a pawn is unnecessary.

If you do choose to nominate me this week - that's that. However, I will not understand. I'm not going to hate you. I'm not even going to be mad or furious with you. You heard the potential alternatives that could help you out and you know how I feel about the situation. So, if knowing all that, I am still who you choose to go with, I will simply just not understand your decision.

( I MEAN WE COULD SERIOUSLY RIP THIS HOUSE APART TOGETHER LIKE ITS SRS BSNS )

Hahaha. Either way, it's a game! Now I am off to workkkkk. Talk to you when I get home tonight if it's not too late for ya!"

[Angie Swindell]

Are you joking? What the fuck.

[Angie Swindell]

[Angie Swindell]

Are April and Britney in an alliance or something? That's the only sense I can make of this. How is putting me up and going against the house strategic? It just doesn't make any sense to me. Both Enzo and Rachel told me they were pushing for April. So was I. So were 4 other people. If Britney has that many people in her ear and she still decides to nominate me, there is obviously something bigger going on.

Britney's nomination speech was retarded. I wanted to vomit the entire time. Giving the last key to April was a total slap in the face and it made it seem like the whole thing was out of spite. Whatever though, Britney can "totes" continue to be fake for the rest of the game. Then she can have sex with April.

I'm trying as hard as I can to win this veto. I've already found all of my matches and I've decided to be a greedy bitch for every single one. Either I get no points and avoid giving someone else 2 points, or I get 2 points. Works for me. I'm also almost done the entire list. I just need Britney (ew atm), Natalie, and Memphis to get online so I can figure out who they have. I really want this veto. I really, really do.

I'd like to believe I'll have the votes to stay over Eric...but he's no Sharon, so who even knows. :/

[Angie Swindell]

I'm anxiously awaiting the Power of Veto competition results. I really think I have a good shot at winning. I was probably one of the first people to submit their complete lists and I'm wondering if many other people are going to manage to complete their lists. I haven't told everyone my hearts, so maybe that will help me out. But then again, people I have told could spread it around so I'm not counting on that.

I'm mainly hoping that I will get 2 points for the majority of my matches. I don't think Justin is going to reach for a love connection, so I will probably get 0 points on that one because there is no way I'm letting him have 2. I'm pretty sure Rachel went for the love connection and I didn't, so I feel kind of bad about that because I love her but at the same time I want this veto. And April said she was going for the love connection but who even knows if she's an honest person or not.

Let's hope for the best. If it comes down to the tiebreaker, it could be anyone's game. I'm really hoping I pulled through on this challenge. I also kind of want to rub it in Britney's face if I win it. Just a little. : P

[Angie Swindell]

Ew @ the veto results. So close, too.

At least Eric didn't win it.

I know I haven't been a target both times I've been on the block so far, but this week is really difficult for some reason. :/ Ugh. Whatever. Time to get over it.

[Angie Swindell]

I honestly don't know what to think about tonight. I've been told Eric is probably going to go and even he feels like he is. However, I don't know...some people have me a bit worried and I know for certain it's not going to be unanimous. Dunno why I know that, I just do.

I really hope I stay. I feel like I've been putting a lot into this game. I've tried to be the most social I can be and I've tried to be the most competitive that I can be, even if sometimes I didn't want to win the Head of Household competition. Regardless, I've tried. Which is more than I can say for some people.

If I get evicted tonight it will be very upsetting. I feel like I have a lot of fight left in me and I just don't see anything game-wise that I have done wrong. We all know why the first 3 people were evicted from this game. They were evicted for extremely obvious reasons. Holly lied and went too hardcore from the beginning, Sharon was a big personality and kind of a bitch for no reason, and Marvin was a big personality who started lying when his back was against the wall, too.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I probably wouldn't understand the votes if the majority of them were to evict me. I would be tempted to ask what I did to be evicted. I want to stay and compete, I have so much more fight left in me, and it just feels so pointless to be evicted early. Although, if I can't make it far in this game I would just rather go now than be first or second in the jury. I'm here to play and I'm here to win. I'm not here to go home early and I'm not here to "just make jury".

Let's hope that I really am the perfect pawn and that the plan wasn't to get rid of me all along. Though, if that WAS the plan, I would be extremely confused. Hahahaha.