Week #9: ALLiance

[Britney Haynes]

OMG. LIKE OMG. Such a Hectic few days in the BB HOUSE, YALL!

It started off with me lying to Angie...

The plan all last week was to Evict Angie. She was a threat, she was extremely likable, and she always talked about the same effing things. So when it came around to voting for her, it should have been easy, right?

WRONG!

Angie kept guilt dripping me into voting for her to stay. She kept going on and on and on, saying all these sad sappy things. It got to the point where she just wouldn't shut the fuck up! I would leave her alone and then 5 secs later she would come back to talk to me! So, to shut her up I had to lie to her about my vote!

Was my lie uncalled for? Probably. I didn't want to lie to her, I WAS the only person that told her that I was actually thinking of voting to evict. Both Justin and Rachel just flat out said that they were voting to keep her, yet they voted her out. I wad the ONLY ONE who was somewhat truthful!

And then on her way out the door, Angie has the nerve to call me fake!? FUCK YOU BITCH! I am SOOOO not fake! THAT IS INSULTING! I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT! She said I was the fakest person in the house, EVER! That is a total lie! I have been one of the most honest people this series has ever seen! Angie is once again completely delusional.

Angie was fake too! She told me that she wouldn't have nominated me if she stayed in the house, however, she told Rachel that her secret power would allow her to automatically win HOH and Nominate two people. Who would have been one of those nominees? BRITNEY! So Angie, don't fucking kid yourself! You're just as fake as I am, bitch! And thanks for calling me a slut behind my back, I'll take it as a compliment coming from a person like you.

You're disgusting, and HA HA you didn't get the chance to use your power! NEENER NEENER NEENER!!!!

After Angie left, we were told it was going to be a FLASH FORWARD this week!

NEW IT! OMG, WE GUESSED IT AND WERE RIGHT! Omg, we're like all so smart, we're basically physic.

During the Fast Forward, the Fatal Femmes (Me, Rachel and Michele) all got together because we knew we had to win! Rachel and Justin got into some weird random fight about the vote last round, so she wanted him out. However, Michele still hates Enzo so she wanted him out. I wanted Natalie out.

When Michele won HOH, for the second time, Rachel and I told her to nominate Justin and Enzo, In the hopes that Justin would go. Michele, just completely ignored us. She didn't even listen to what Rachel and I had to say, she just did her own thing. WHICH IS EXTREMELY RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!

This is suppose to be an ALLIANCE! Notice how Alliance starts with ALL! That means that ALL of us matter! Everyone in the alliance! It's not Iance! It's not all about fucking Michele!

But, according to Michele, all she fucking cares about is herself. So she decided to Nominate Enzo and Natalie. Which, I was too sad about, because keeping Justin in the game is beneficial to me, I feel. I feel like I can use him more than I would be able to use Natalie.
What pisses me off is that Michele went completely out for herself and trying to get Enzo off. She didn't even take into consideration the opinions of Rachel and I.

So, at that moment, Rachel and I decided that Michele is OUT of the alliance! SHE IS DEAD TO US! Once you cross us, you're out! There are no second chances!

Michele ended up winning Veto too and kept the nominations the same. Rachel and I decided to go against her wishes and keep Enzo in the game. HAHA TAKE THAT BITCH! THATS WHAT YOU GET! I think she was mad, she didn't say she was, but I bet anything that she was screaming inside that she didn't get what she wanted, lolz!

BTW, soooooo Happy to see Natalie go. For Strategic and Personal reasons. She's a drunken idiot and was a waste of space in this game. It's too bad she made it so far. GROSS ASS SKANK.

Going into this last HOH, Rachel and I, and even Enzo, knew that one of us HAD to win to HOH so that we could send Michele packing! I was sooo excited to get to the challenge and win, until I saw.....LETTER TILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF! THESE STUPID ASS THINGS AGAIN!

I hate them! I HATE PUZZLES! Why can't it be connect the dots or color by numbers! SOMETHING IM GOOD AT!

NOT STUPID PUZZLES! NOOOO! WHY!!?!?!?!

Rachel actually did really well at solving most of the puzzles. I thought we had a good shot at winning, until....


MICHELE WINS HOH!

WTF!? THIS AGAIN!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

WHY DOES SHE KEEP WINNING EVERYTHING!? WTF!? IS SHE FUCKING PART BITCHBOT!

Honestly, her winning is getting a little old. Like, she's so fucking greedy! LET SOMEONE ELSE WIN FOR A CHANGE! Doesn't she know that winning every challenge was so Season 2!? SHELIA HELLO!? WAY TO BE UNORIGINAL MICHELE! Stop trying to copy the strategies of past players!

She says shes good at challenges because she practices on her Iphone........*DRAMATIC EYE ROLL*

Michele: OMG, LIKE HAI GUYS! Check out my Iphone! It's a mutant crossbreed between an Ipod and an phone! I bought it because its an "I"Phone, not an "ALL"Phone, cause we all know I'm all about myself! It's pretty much the coolest portable gadget ever made. It has only one button and everything else is operated by the touch screen. It's an ipod, a phone, and an internet browser. It can also be a remote control, computer mouse, electric razor, mouse trap, a taser, deodorant, hand grenade, challenge answer stealer, a condom, wipes your ass, and gives you eternal life! TOO BAD YALL DON'T HAVE ONE *SNICKERS*

*groans* I hate her so fucking much!
Why is she still here!? And why is she going to be in the Final 4!?

She's going to win, I just know it. Cause all she has done is whored up the competitions and not have pissed anyone off! 1 WAY TICKET TO WINSVILLE! While I sit here, hated by all 4 Jury Members so far, and have 0 chance at winning. 1 WAY TICKET TO LOSERSVILLE!

Why do all the gross people win!? IT"S NOT FAIR! Why can't someone like me win!

I have no idea who Michele will nominate. She didn't even work with Rachel and I on the challenge. She didn't it by herself.

So....there could be a good chance that maybe Rachel and myself will go up...Michele could be pissed that we voted to keep Enzo and now she wants revenge.

My goal this week is to get Justin nominated! If Justin is nominated, we're pretty much set on having him evicted. Justin is probably the worst at competitions out of the 5 of us, so the chance of him winning Veto are slim. Then either Rachel, Enzo or I just vote him out!

However, we all kind of think that there might be an IANCE between Justin and Michele. Because she didn't nominate him last week, which is weird.

So, it's scary. There only 5 people left, and the chances of leaving this week are extremely high. I'm nervous because I would HATE to be evicted at this point. I just want to get to the Final 2, so that I had the experience of the full game. I know I won't win, but at least I can be runner-up!

Hopefully Michele will nominate Enzo and Justin and then we can win Veto and boot Justin. THATS THE GOAL!

[Britney Haynes]

OH MY GAWD

WORST WEEK EVER!

*begins crying*

I thought Michele might nominate me, but I didn't really know! I went into the nomination ceremony nervous, but I kept telling myself "Oh, no, Michele won't nominate me, we're the Fatal Femmes, we're a team, she would never be that cruel!"

And then......She walks up to the kitchen table, caring the Keys, wearing those stretched out tights she calls pants, and nominates me!

Here's a reenactment:
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*Gentle and caring Britney, gracefully sits down at the kitchen table, a halo appears over her head, while cute birds can be heard peacefully chirping over her shoulder. Suddenly, dark clouds begin to form, while lighting begins to strike! The pounding of large vicious footsteps can he heard coming down the spiral staircase and in the distance, the evil troll, MANCHELE, can be seen trotting towards the kitchen table. When it arrives, the troll awkwardly thumps the nomination case on the table, while pieces of week old food and droll hang from her gaping mouth*

MANCHELE (in her deep, horrifying, and manly voice): Welcome to the Nomination Ceremony HAW HAW HAW!
*lightning cracks and thunder rumbles in the background*

I have won yet another HOH, HAW HAW HAW, thanks to my trusty Iphone! *The troll pulls out her rusted and cracked phone from between her sagging cleavage* If only the precious Britney had one, then she might be able to win 6 competitions like I have! MUAH HAW HAW HAW!

BRTINEY: I use to have an Iphone, but I donated it to a little orphanage along with all my other belongings.

RACHEL, ENZO AND JUSTIN (In unison): Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

BRITNEY: It's the least I could do....

MANCHELE: ENOUGH! *the troll slams its fist onto the table, cracking it* This is MY ceremony! ALL THE ATTENTION HAS TO BE ON ME!

Moving On! I, the great and almighty MANCHELE! Has decided to nominate that scrawny little weasel, Enzo...

ENZO: Naw dawg! dat ain't right!

MANCHELE: SILENCE! *mirrors and glass shatter over the loud screech that bellowed from the beast*

For my second nomination, I take GREAT PLEASURE, Without any guilt at all, in nominating .......... BRRRRRTIIIINEY! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!

*Gasps of horror can be heard coming from the other house guests mouths, while thunder booms!*

BRITNEY: But....But...Manchele, I'm your friend, I braided your hair, I looked out for you, I donated to numerous charities in your name, how.....how could you do this to me!?

MANCHELE: YOU THINK I CARE!? I don't give a shit about you! About ALL of you! HAW HAW HAW! I am the great and evil MANCHELE! I don't need any of you!

Now, leave me alone! This meeting is adjourned! I'm going back to my dungeon lair to feed. I'M HUNGRY! HAW HAW HAW!

*The troll waddles off to its lair, while a single tear streaks down Britney's left cheek.*
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*blows nose loudly, whilst continuing to cry*

Thats exactly how it happened! It was a terrible experience!

I just don't know how she could do this to me........like, I haven't done anything to her! I have been the nicest person ever!

Okay, I mean sure, I might have said like one small little mean thing behind her back, but like it's no big deal!

She is just so rude! And so selfish! I was going go to and try to evict her, yet she HAD to go after me first! Doesn't she know that she should let others go first!? WHERE ARE YOUR MANNERS, MICHELE!? Rude, little child!

I decided to deface her memory wall picture with my TRUSTY RED MARKER! HAHA MANCHELE, BET YOU WISH YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE! I think I did a really good job! The red ink really brings out the red highlights in her hair, and also covers up the wrinkles in her crusty face. I hope she tries to scrub it off so hard that her hands begin to bleed! But, that won't be a problem for her! We all know red is a good color on Michele! *snickers*

Even though making fun of Michele and ruining her life makes me feel better, it still doesn't change the fact that I'm nominated.

My only hope at this point, is the Veto!

The challenge was really fun, and it was hosted by Chatalie! From Season 2 and 4. She's actually, so much cooler in person, I have to say! Like, on TV, she comes off as this crazy ass bitch that yells the C-Word all the time....and in person she..........errrr well....basically does the same thing. BUT I LOVE HER! WE WOULD SO BE BFFs.

HOWEVER, I couldn't even enjoy the veto comp because of MANCHELE! GAWD! I basically went physco. I was just so angry over being nominated! I just started shouting random things that made no sense. lolz. Like, I said I would shove a computer up her ass and then pull it out her mouth....EW! It kind of went to the point where I started looking pathetic lolz. So I just stopped. However, it's whatever. I don't regret anything and I'm not apologizing to her.

The veto, despite being fun, was a bit of a crap shoot. It was pretty much all luck, with a tad of speed involved. I was surprised Justin won! Because, like, ..... it's Justin. I was really angry though, because I just wanted Rachel to win SOOOOO BAD. If Rachel would have won, she would have saved me and Michele would be forced to nominate Justin. Then, we could just evict him.

But, with Justin winning it pretty much confirms that either Enzo or myself will be leaving.

LIKE, THIS WEEK GETS WORSE AND WORSE! UGHHHHH! It's like a never ending line of tragic events for me!

Justin told me that he doesn't plan on using the veto. However, he HAS said that he WILL vote to keep me. But, as we look into the past at Justin's honesty track record, we all know that he basically lies to everyone about his vote because he is just a giant pussy that has no backbone. So, Justin could very well be lying to me.

The fact of the matter is that Michele, once again, did not nominate him. So, they're obviously working together. If they're working together, then my fate has already been decided and I am walking out those doors on eviction night.

I honestly think it would be a bad move for Justin to evict me. If he keeps me in the game, he is evicting Enzo, a weaker player. If Enzo leaves, that leaves 3 remaining strong players, Me, Rachel and Michele. Michele won't take me to the Final 2, and I won't take her. The same goes for Michele and Rachel. There's a chance that Rachel and I won't take each other to the Final 2, because Rachel is a big threat to win. So, that only leaves 1 option for all of us....JUSTIN! If Justin kept me in the game, he would be basically securing himself a spot in the Final 2. Also, it would be an incredible move on his part. It would show that he understands the game and is an analytical thinker, by making a bold move. Thats something that I would reward in the end. Just how I would reward Michele for making the move to nominate me, because I do think it was a good move on her part.

If Justin decides to keep Enzo, he is opening up the doors to Michele and Rachel to take someone else to the end. And, once again lying to another player and evicting them. This will probably secure his losing of the game.

I am really going to try to enforce this into Justin's brain. His chances of making Final 2 will increase if he keeps me here.

But, things do not look good for me. No one is talking to me. It's like I've become the person that has always annoyed me. The person, who is on the block, thats going around and basically begging people to not evict them. It's disgusting and I don't enjoy it. I am not even 100% certain Rachel will even keep me. She has been exceptionally distant this round, and my fears of her turning on me are making me paranoid. She says she will vote to keep me, however, what I am afraid of is that she will tell Justin to vote against me, forcing and tie and all the blood will fall on Michele's hands. Karma could be a huge bitch, and I could go out just like how everyone else has gone out.

I really feel that this is the true test of how good of a player you are. When you're nominated, and are the prime target, if you can somehow convince the others to keep you, then I think that proves that you're a good player. It's easy to just nominate, ride coattails, win competitions, and backstabb, but it's hard to convince people to keep you, when they should actually vote you out.

Who knows what will happen! If I leave, than my picture will forever be next to that drunken slag Natalie on the header above. That disgusts me, and I cannot let it happen!

[Britney Haynes]

Welll....*holds back tears*

this is really hard for me to say....but....

THIS IS MY LAST DR SESSION!

I know, I know.... It's so sad!

The inevitable is about to happen......

IM GETTING EVICTED!

It sucks! Because I came here to get to the Final 2! But, thats the game.

I've tried to campaign to save myself, however, everyone is ignoring me. Rachel still seems to be on my side, but Justin is flat out not even listening to me.

So, most likely, it will be a tie, and Michele will vote to evict me.

I'm wondering if I would have pretended to be nice to her and accept her nomination, if she would have kept me. I honestly don't think she would have, but who knows.

It's really sickening that she is deciding to get a personality at the Final 4. Like, shut up bitch, it's a little too late for that now.

Whats going to be the worst is that I am going to have to sit through a boring, unimaginative, analytical speech from her YET AGAIN, and then walk out those doors.

But, I have accepted it. I probably won't even bother reading it.

Either way, I am TOTES excited to go to the Jury house! It's better than being with that pussy ass, no back bone little wiener and his master, the man troll. Plus, I get to see ANNIE! HUUUUURAAAY!!!

I had so much fun in this game. I'm not a tight ass like SOME PEOPLE, and hopefully I was able to bring a spec of entertainment.

We all know that I AM SEASON 5! I RAN THIS HOUSE! Like, the banner should be changed to have my face on it! LIKE JUST ME! IN THE CENTER!

lolz.

Thanks Chels soooo so sooo soo much, you really are a wonderful host.

BAI BIG BROTHER WARZONE!

*blows kiss, then struts out*